Posted by: rachelok | November 20, 2011

And then there were 24.

My nursing program started the year with 39 people. 15 are now gone.

Maybe even more difficult than the school work is the constant stress, always feeling so vulnerable. Oh yes, and Pharmacology. Cursed, wretched Pharmacology.

From the start of this new journey, I have been putting myself down about it. Moving back to my hometown, moving back in with my mama, going to a community college…the thing is, is I feel proud of myself now. I chose to move back here to pursue this, and I get to spend real time with my mom as an adult.

A friend in the program and I were talking about if we get kicked out, how ashamed we’d be because we would have gotten kicked out the program at friggen Dodge City Community College, for goodness sake. What I’m discovering, though, is that they’re known for their nursing program for a reason-it’s legit. Seriously. They don’t mess around.

I’m also really proud because I’m learning stuff. I feel entirely more knowledgeable than I did just 4 months ago (even though I had to use spell check for knowledgeable just then). It’s giving me a confidence boost that is both unexpected and entirely welcome.

I’m still super nervous because if I don’t pass Pharmacology this semester, I’m out. This class is hard as hell and terrifying to me, but all I can do is keep trying. And breathing. Treathing. Brying.

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